In ice hockey a hat trick is when one player scores three goals in one game, a feat so rare and exciting that the crowd throws their hats onto the ice in appreciation. Some of the middle-aged men I know are pulling off a different type of hat trick these days. When you are overweight like me, part of understanding your place in this world is yes, by comparing yourself to others. There, I said it. I know that that type of behavior is not what spiritual leaders say leads to true happiness, but it has worked for me so far. For me it takes the form of “Yeah, I am a little heavy, but so is so and so” or “At least I am not as heavy as X.” Unfortunately, at this point in America’s history, I do not have to look far to find others as heavy as me or heavier. It is the whole danger of relativism and it can lead to communism or something.
Here comes the hat trick. Lately, it seems that a few of my “friends”, beacons who I have always counted on to feel okay about my extra weight, have suddenly lost theirs. What is going on? One nice day this fall I am walking my dog past the park when I see a man I know throwing Frisbee with his son, WITHOUT HIS SHIRT ON!!! I can tell you, self respecting fat guys like me do NOT go around in public without a shirt on if they can help it. It would take some kind of National Emergency or else you find yourself in a no alternative situation, like at a public pool with your family or something.
Not only does “Bob” as we will call him, have his shirt off, but he looks terrific. I later hear from my wife who hears from his wife that “Bob decided to lose weight” and “started running more.” That is the frustrating thing. None of these guys gives a satisfactory explanation for how they pull it off. Another neighbor is Exhibit B, we will call him “Ted”. “Ted” lost significant weight. When I asked him how he did it he said, “I stopped eating for two.” Sure, I understand that eating less will make a difference, but if it was that easy to “stop” how did we all get overweight in the first place? Last, I will mention “Milo” a friend who “stopped drinking soda” and “started doing a yoga routine every morning in front of the TV before work”. I am sorry, but I had to give up sodas years ago, so that is not going to work for me. My problem is that all the explanations sound too simple, and yet, these guys and many more have suddenly lost weight. The real problem is they have now disrupted my world order and okay, I will admit it, I am jealous. What is left for me to do, but try and pull a hat trick of my own? Oh, and when I do, and people ask me how I did it, I think I will say “I started walking to the metro instead of driving.”
Consumption:
2 egg vegetable omelet with black olives and feta cheese
Two pieces of string cheese
2 carrots
Orange
Half a grapefruit
Sweet potato with sour crème
Large Caesar salad with grilled Portobello mushroom
1 Beer
2 ritz crackers with cheddar cheese
1 glass of milk
Exercise
30 minutes of Eliptical machine
10 minutes of weights
My Fitness Pal says I consumed just under my goal of 1900 calories, but I earned almost 300 more based on my exercise.
Here comes the hat trick. Lately, it seems that a few of my “friends”, beacons who I have always counted on to feel okay about my extra weight, have suddenly lost theirs. What is going on? One nice day this fall I am walking my dog past the park when I see a man I know throwing Frisbee with his son, WITHOUT HIS SHIRT ON!!! I can tell you, self respecting fat guys like me do NOT go around in public without a shirt on if they can help it. It would take some kind of National Emergency or else you find yourself in a no alternative situation, like at a public pool with your family or something.
Not only does “Bob” as we will call him, have his shirt off, but he looks terrific. I later hear from my wife who hears from his wife that “Bob decided to lose weight” and “started running more.” That is the frustrating thing. None of these guys gives a satisfactory explanation for how they pull it off. Another neighbor is Exhibit B, we will call him “Ted”. “Ted” lost significant weight. When I asked him how he did it he said, “I stopped eating for two.” Sure, I understand that eating less will make a difference, but if it was that easy to “stop” how did we all get overweight in the first place? Last, I will mention “Milo” a friend who “stopped drinking soda” and “started doing a yoga routine every morning in front of the TV before work”. I am sorry, but I had to give up sodas years ago, so that is not going to work for me. My problem is that all the explanations sound too simple, and yet, these guys and many more have suddenly lost weight. The real problem is they have now disrupted my world order and okay, I will admit it, I am jealous. What is left for me to do, but try and pull a hat trick of my own? Oh, and when I do, and people ask me how I did it, I think I will say “I started walking to the metro instead of driving.”
Consumption:
2 egg vegetable omelet with black olives and feta cheese
Two pieces of string cheese
2 carrots
Orange
Half a grapefruit
Sweet potato with sour crème
Large Caesar salad with grilled Portobello mushroom
1 Beer
2 ritz crackers with cheddar cheese
1 glass of milk
Exercise
30 minutes of Eliptical machine
10 minutes of weights
My Fitness Pal says I consumed just under my goal of 1900 calories, but I earned almost 300 more based on my exercise.
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