Personal Services

I have a friend who avoids receiving personal services.  By personal services I mean services that you can buy that can only be done by an individual coming in direct contact with you.  For example, my friend Milo does a workout each morning watching a yoga video, but he is not interested in taking a yoga class taught by a live instructor.  I grant him that his way is more economical and efficient and I admire his dedication to make it happen and keep it going.  Although we have never discussed it fully, I have extrapolated another reason for his position is that it avoids messy human entanglements.  If you take a yoga class and get to know the instructor, what do you do if you decide you do not like the class or do not want to go back.  Do you owe them some kind of explanation?  Either way there is awkwardness.  Another friend and I discussed a certain barber we had both been to.  My friend had recently gone to the Hair Cuttery and when I accused him of being unfaithful to "our" barber, my friend said "I am not looking for a relationship, I just want my hair cut".  Fair enough.

It is true that human relationships can be messy.  I mean, who needs them?  Apparently, I do.  Unlike my two friends, I want and like to have a relationship with my yoga instructor and barber, among others, no matter how tenuous they may be.  For example, Miquel, the barber, cut my hair over a four year period while I worked near his business.  Over that time, I learned about how he immigrated to the country, I got to know his wife who also worked in the business.  I learned about his kids and watched his pride in them as they graduated from good colleges and got their first jobs.  We talked about the economy and religion.  I feel richer for having known him and am glad he wanted to get to know me.  It is true that when I changed jobs to a new  location the "purpose" of our relationship came to an end and after saying good-bye, I have not been back.  

One  could tactfully point out to me that as a business relationship and the fact that I pay money for a service, some suspicion can be cast on the sincerity of the relationship.  While that is a factor to consider, I trust my intuitive ability to decide what is genuine.  Likewise, because I pay for services does that preclude the relationship to be based on equality.  In fairness, I do not know Miquel's last name, I never invited him to my home.  The scope of the relationship was ultimately limited.  While these questions are worth considering they do not tip the balance for me in a negative direction.  I come down firmly on the side in favor of personal services, human relations with all their glorie.   For me its like the old Cheer's song, I want to go where people go, I want to go where everyone knows my name.