One of the characters I admire most when it comes to controlling his temper is Albus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter books. Dumbledore always stays calm and relaxed and I would even say mannerly, even under the most extreme conditions - like dueling to the death with his arch-enemy, Voldemort. I realize that Dumbledore is a fictional character and even then, there were reports that he was less controlled in his youth.
That said, my recent behavior has been pretty un-Dumbledore like. I could plead that as the father of teenagers I have an excuse, except that is just when I need the most calm. I spent many years trying to pretend that I did not get angry - that I was above anger. On that front, my recent outbursts could be considered progress. The pretending is over. What is not progress is shouting, using bad language and setting a bad example for those closest to me that I most want to positively influence.
We get National Geographic magazine and I have recently been reading about a volcano in Africa that is very active. There is a growing city nearby that is in constant danger of its blowing. I think my anger is sometimes like that volcano, with pressure building up underneath and sudden, unexpected eruptions. I think my anger, although non-physical, can be just as destructive.
I have been taught the best language to use in a confrontation is:
When you do X, I feel irritated/mad/angry. I would prefer you to do Y.
I just have to remember to breathe deeply, use that language, especially when certain subjects are involved which I know ahead of time could be potential flash-points. That, and ask myself often, what would Albus Dumbledore do?
Today I weighed 205 lbs which means I have lost another pound and nineteen total since the beginning of the year.
Consumption:
Honey nut Cheerios and Bran Chex cereal with skim milk
Potato soup
Roastbeef and brie sandwich
1 piece of cheese pizza
Hummus and crackers
Steak salad
Apple cider
Red grapes
Exercise:
Walked 4 miles at a brisk pace
Lifted weights and did crunches for 20 minutes
My Fitness Pal said the walking was worth 450 calories and therefore I was well inside my daily goal.
That said, my recent behavior has been pretty un-Dumbledore like. I could plead that as the father of teenagers I have an excuse, except that is just when I need the most calm. I spent many years trying to pretend that I did not get angry - that I was above anger. On that front, my recent outbursts could be considered progress. The pretending is over. What is not progress is shouting, using bad language and setting a bad example for those closest to me that I most want to positively influence.
We get National Geographic magazine and I have recently been reading about a volcano in Africa that is very active. There is a growing city nearby that is in constant danger of its blowing. I think my anger is sometimes like that volcano, with pressure building up underneath and sudden, unexpected eruptions. I think my anger, although non-physical, can be just as destructive.
I have been taught the best language to use in a confrontation is:
When you do X, I feel irritated/mad/angry. I would prefer you to do Y.
I just have to remember to breathe deeply, use that language, especially when certain subjects are involved which I know ahead of time could be potential flash-points. That, and ask myself often, what would Albus Dumbledore do?
Today I weighed 205 lbs which means I have lost another pound and nineteen total since the beginning of the year.
Consumption:
Honey nut Cheerios and Bran Chex cereal with skim milk
Potato soup
Roastbeef and brie sandwich
1 piece of cheese pizza
Hummus and crackers
Steak salad
Apple cider
Red grapes
Exercise:
Walked 4 miles at a brisk pace
Lifted weights and did crunches for 20 minutes
My Fitness Pal said the walking was worth 450 calories and therefore I was well inside my daily goal.
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